I loved telling stories. I was an artist of all kinds – I enjoyed making music, writing scripts as well as novels and childrens’ stories, and drawing. I lived in a world of fantasy, because the reality of my world was dismal and lonely. I felt trapped by my chosen profession, sitting in an office helping other filmmakers’ make their fantasies tangible, at least on screen. But it’s all illusion, no matter which way you shake it. In a way movies can liberate us, they can show us truth. In another, they lull us into a sense of complacency with our lot in life. If we can live adventures while watching a screen, the everyday grind doesn’t seem so bad.

I have always had a deep love for boating and the sea. Although I never had a huge amount of opportunities to explore those interests, growing up in Florida I did get to do some canoeing on beautiful, clear rivers and snorkeling on the coastline. Some of my happiest memories are swimming in those cold springs, rain pouring down on my head in the summer months, dripping down from the cypress trees and Spanish moss. You look down through your mask and see forty feet to the bottom, where tiny fish swim and hide in the mangrove roots.

When I was a kid I always dreamed about having the superpower of breathing underwater. In the pool, I was the kid that liked to sit on the bottom as long as possible, watching the sun dance above me where the water ended. 

As soon as I had the opportunity I got scuba certified at a community college. Ten years later and a lot of heartache trying to get producers to read scripts, trying to get things made – left me an empty shell of a person, unfulfilled and confused about where my place in the world was. It was at this point, in 2020, that I returned to scuba diving. I had moved to California since then, and although the rough Pacific water is a far stretch from what I was used to, I eventually got used to it and learned to love the unique environment California diving has to offer. 

I realized, as I evolved on my diving journey, that I needed to make my reality a happy place for me. That seems to be common sense but it just didn’t occur to me that I wasn’t really living my life. I could no longer just live in my fantasies. Scuba diving has brought me such joy to commune with nature and be a part of the world. Really be a part of it. And I live each day with immense gratitude for that.

Now I work on a scuba diving boat as a divemaster. I get to live my dream each day and see things so few people get to see. I get to swim with sea lions and harbor seals, watch sheephead duel with their large teeth and watch octopus hunt and marvel at their immense intelligence. I get to watch the sunlight stream through kelp forests, casting such a magical glow on the whole of the ocean. 

I used to call myself a musician, an artist, a writer. Now the only thing I know for sure that I am is a scuba diver. The rest of what I am may come and go, but diving will always remain. I am driven to it. It calls me, and it’s part of the fabric of my being.